My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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