I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
