apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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