I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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