I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
