ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
