you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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