You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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