You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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