We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
