I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
How does it feel to date your dad?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
