We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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