She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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