I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
As shirtless as possible
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
