That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
