That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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