Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
