he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize