we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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