a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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