Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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