Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
