@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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