Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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