I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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