Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
