I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
