Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
