My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
