when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
