Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just want nice things and good sex
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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