there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
