So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
