He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
