You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
