She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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