Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
