Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize
