The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
