god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
