That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
