Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
