Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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