Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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