Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Randomize
