Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
