xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
