Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
