My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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