She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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