Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
