D3 body, D1 cock
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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