what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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