..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We have started to decorate penises.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
