Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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