also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
His hands were made for my vagina.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
