I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
handjob tips. give me some.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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