Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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