i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize