This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
