The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
