New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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