I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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