Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
