are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
