Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
